disappointing.

Everyday i am shown examples of how mankind has lost it's class and integrity. Its really sad that the values that were instilled in us who aren't very old.(.i'm talking people in their 30's, 40's)..are laughed upon by those in their teens, and 20's now..that's how fast the deteioration has occured..it's barely a generation whose ideals and morals have flown out the window...it's every man for himself it seems..forget about holding doors..or letting pedestrians have the right of way..or waving someone thru a stop sign ahead of you..sometimes i walk down the street and smile at people, and they look me directly in the eye as i'm smiling and have NO response..just a dead face like "why is this crazy person smiling at me" attitude...i mean WOW..i could never walk by someone who smiled at me without giving a smile back..the fact that these people are CAPABLE of that..frightens me...people are slowly turning sociopathic before our very eyes i think sometimes.

something i think about in the middle of the night when i can't sleep.

There is something that is a recurring thought i've had for quite some time that creeps into my head usually at about 4am. It's kind of complicated to explain but I'll try. It's the fact that I often wonder.....in slaughterhouses or the meat industry, factories, farms etc all over the country and world, there is someone or several people who have the unlikely job of actually having to KILL the animals right?....Which leads me into thinking, who are these people? What type of person is cut out for making their living this way? Does it bother them? Do they block it out? Is there a "profile" ya know, FBI type stereotype person who finds their way to this position? are they predominantly male? or are there female chicken-head-cutters? I'd like to see some unbiased (un-PETA-freak) camera interviews about who these people are and what are their lives are like? Do they have children? Do they TELL the children what they do for a living? and if they make it sound all nice for the kids like.."oh daddy works at the piggie factory"..then..aren't they just really covering up the fact that it truely IS bothersome to them? So why do they do it?

where it all began..

I remember going into the city with a few high school friends back in the day, say I was about 17 years old and eager to see "Soho" (yes we were from Nassau County so this was like the holy grail of where fashion came from to me lol) I remember the cobblestones under my shoes and stumbling and thinking oh no the people in those shops are looking out at me going "here come the bridge and tunnelers!"..because i was..and they WERE haha..this is so long ago that I barely can remember anything except the one store that changed my whole outlook on life..I thought I wasn't allowed into couture label stores and that only rich people and actresses would be allowed past their buzzered doors..I was shocked when this nice old black gentlemen in a uniform buzzed me into Comme des Garcons..I really thought he was making an exception and that i would be chased out of there..but I wandered awe-struck thru the store touching the clothes on those really minimilist silver rolling racks..looking at the price tags and feeling like I had been accidentally let inside the Vatican..it was at this moment that I told myself..I belong here..i know it..and vowed to come back looking fiercer than ever!..and the rest as you know darlings...is history : )